Recently I had to pass up an incredible opportunity. It’s OK, I believe I made the right decision.
But it rekindled a desire to start writing. I have been writing non fiction for 20 years of course;
reports, documents, the occasional article. But never for creative purposes. With so many
ideas swirling in my head, I have always wanted to delve into fiction writing. So, in the typical
fashion of an introvert, I decided to take baby steps. This is the first step.
No, I am not going to make you read my first story here, nor am I about to present you with a
brilliant poem or song. But this is the first time I am writing for a (voluntary) audience.
My point in all of this is to say that why is it, that after 27 years of working, 2 Degrees, 1
Diploma, and myriad of other experiences, do I now feel that my abilities are enough to warrant
recognition? That I am “good” enough?
Why did it take so long? As women we traditionally put ourselves, our needs, and our dreams
behind those of others in our lives. We get our education and accept inferior roles because we
are young and inexperienced. Then, when our lives change, either through marriage, having
children, or something else that requires our attention, we gallantly set aside our own goals for
those of others. Or we change our goals.
This is not to say that there is anything wrong with changing one’s goals, or aligning goals to
suit a new situation, but I’m sure the majority of women would say that they altered or lessened
their goals when the situation required it. How many men can say the same thing?
I do not want to go down the road of male bashing. I admire far more men personally than I do
women. However I believe that we women have a kamikaze approach to self sacrifice. We
need to learn that we don’t have to constantly change/adapt/adjust/sacrifice in order to make
others happy. We need to accept that we are enough as we are, right now, in the moment.
This is as good as it gets, and as I get older I have stopped apologizing for not being “(…insert
society’s projected ideals on women here) enough”. I have talents, abilities, strengths and
weaknesses like everyone else, and THAT is enough.
many thanks to R.B for this contribution!