There it is again…the questioning.

I’m on Facebook a lot, perhaps even too much.

A post came through my feed today that made me feel as though what I am trying to accomplish is all for nought.

I always find it a strange question when someone asks me “why I’m so happy” or “why I’m so positive”. Quite frankly, it’s part of me. Is the opposite true then? Are some people just inherently negative and unhappy?

To be clear, this journey I am on is for me. I happen to want to share it. Part of the experience was coming up with an idea to perhaps make someone’s day a little brighter, a little less heavy or negative. I just want to share and “put it out there” in case it speaks to someone else.

I understand sad, and recently I have experienced grief that no one could have quite prepared me for. I compared it to trying to explain what being pregnant was like and then giving birth. It’s different for all of us although similarities are there. Sometimes there aren’t enough words to express all those feelings. The grief has subsided, the memories still make my eyes well up, and I have a pretty good life to live.

Perhaps I am one of the fortunate ones.  I truly believe one can choose to be happy, but in the context of not having a medical issue. I mean the glass is half full (and refillable!) and there is always sunshine after a storm kind of way.

So to those of you who are struggling every day with a darkness you cannot bear, I hope you find the strength to seek out help.

There, it’s out now.